Aftermath (Critical Role)
by lostinwriting23
Summary: "I don't want to be alone tonight," His voice is barely above a whisper and he's dropped his chin again, talking to a point somewhere near her left elbow, "Do you?" "I haven't been wanting to be alone most nights." It's the truest sequence of words she can get out around the lump in her throat but she steps back a little, intention clear.


What up, friends! I fell down a new fandom rabbit hole, is anyone surprised? No. I'm fully caught up on Campaign 2 but I just hit the fifty episode mark in 1 and OH BOY KEYLETH AND VAX ARE TRYING TO KILL ME APPARENTLY. So here's this!

As ever, thoughts and critiques are always appreciated. You know what episode this is from (42) and I probably listened to that little exchange about 12 times because feelings.

Enjoy!

M

XXX

The gentle _tap-tap-tap_ on her door draws Keyleth out of her descent into disassociation. Her sleep pants are loose around her hips and she quickly draws a shirt over her pounding head, hiding her shaking hands in the ends of the sleeves. She's not sure who she expects as she opens the door. She knows who she hopes it is.

She's not disappointed.

It's rare to see Vax looking so defeated. In fact, Keyleth isn't sure she's ever seen him like this. Enraged, exhausted, manic, yes. Nothing had been as terrifying to him as Vex almost dying in the Ziggurat and his screams still echo in her head, causing goosebumps to erupt along her arms and tears to cloud her eyes. But this? His hair hangs low across his face, cheek bones prominent and dark eyes, red rimmed and sunken. He leans heavily against the door frame, only looking up when her door is fully open. Her heart aches in that scary way it does when he splits away from her when there's danger.

"Hi," is all she can say.

"Hi." His voice is subdued and he ducks as he looks up at her. Keyleth's breath catches at the vulnerability in his eyes. Everything in her wants to stretch toward him, bury herself in him and hide from all the shit they've been dealing with the last 36 hours, and that desire might me scarier than all the things they've faced combined.

They stand in silence for longer than necessary, drinking in the sight of one another and the exhaustion of the day brings tears to her eyes. Or maybe it's the way he's looking at her.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," His voice is barely above a whisper and he's dropped his chin again, talking to a point somewhere near her left elbow, "Do you?"

Keyleth's stomach drops at the question. The fear she doesn't fully understand creeps into her mind. This is… He's been so open, so patient and vulnerable, all soft words and soft looks and soft promises she hasn't let herself believe. And now, here he is, after the last few days… She knows about how the twins' mother died, has heard them murmuring low to each other through out their time together, seen the tears on Vex's cheeks today and the ache in Vax's eyes as he tries to be strong for his sister. But now he's here, in front of her, with a haunted look of a boy who grew into a man much too quickly.

Her mind flashes over every time he's appeared when she needed him, believed in her when she was sure she didn't deserve it, had her back in a battle. The warmth of him in her arms when he'd finally come back from the city, treasure-less and gloriously alive. The steady honesty when she questioned him next to the Sun Tree. The look in his eyes, "You know I'm in love with you, right?" and how his lips had started a fire in her, the likes of which even Pyrah wouldn't have been able to contain. Suddenly, everything was very, very clear.

"I haven't been wanting to be alone most nights." It's the truest sequence of words she can get out around the lump in her throat but she steps back a little, intention clear.

He watches her in mild surprise, as if waiting for her to take it back but Keyleth stands strong, one arm holding the door open, standing off to the side with more than enough room for him to enter. When he doesn't, slowly, she extends her other hand, for his.

"Vax?" He takes it at the sound of her voice, winding his fingers through hers and crossing the threshold. She shuts the door behind him, not releasing his fingers. He hovers at her side too and they stand for a moment, just inside the door, clutching one another.

Keyleth's room has always been more of a greenhouse. Ever since the keep was built, she's covered almost every available inch with pots of flowers or herbs. Ivy and grape vines cling to the walls and the three giant windows are framed by trellises where roses grow. It smells like a summer day and warmth and Keyleth watches as Vax stares around at it all.

"It's beautiful, Kiki," Vax hums.

She blushes a little and shrugs, "Just felt awfully empty without plants."

Vax just nods.

There's silence again as he finishes taking in the room. She's suddenly unsure of what to do next. It's late and they've had an exhausting day in more ways than one but having him here, alone, has set off some kind of electrical current in her.

"Vax?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you're here." It's the truth and it gets him to look at her finally.

"I am too." His dark eyes sparkle a little and she lets herself finally stop thinking. Taking another step into his space she tilts her head up and their lips meet as her eyes flutter shut. She can feel Vax tensing at the sudden contact and, just for a moment, Keyleth is terrified that she messed up; waited too long or hurt him too much or he changed his mind about-

Vax's hands pull from hers to slide across her waist, pulling her in close to his chest. He breaks away for a second, gasping against her lips and Keyleth leaves her forehead pressed against his and in seconds, he's back, pressing his mouth against hers and she hums out a sigh, one hand sliding up to cradle his cheek, the other looping up under his arm to pull her body flush against his. She brushes a hand up high on his back and he hisses in pain. She drops back down to the world and pulls herself away from him.

"Oh gods, Vax, what happened, I'm sorry, what-"

He's already reaching for her, taking her hand and reeling her back into him, touching her cheek, "Kiki, Kiki, it's nothing. It's just the burn on my back. Still a little tender. It just surprised me."

The sound of his skin burning under her palm, his barely repressed scream of pain, the cracking of the arrow between his teeth isn't likely to leave her conscious any time soon.

"I can't believe you made me do that," She whispers, dropping her forehead to his shoulder, "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I couldn't stand to have their symbol on my body anymore and I'd much rather have a reminder of all the good in my life." He presses a kiss to the crown of her head. She blows out a shaky sigh and nudges into his shoulder more. There's a chuckle and he wraps his arms around her waist again.

"It still hurts though?"

"I mean. I've had much worse." And Keyleth shudders again because she knows he has and there have been times she couldn't fix it. But now.

"I've got. Just sit down," She pushes Vax back, still wrapped in his arms, until she forces him to sit on the makeshift pallet she's made for herself, given that all their mattresses are in the makeshift triage in their basement, but stays standing.

"Kiki," He whines, "I'm fine, it's not that bad." He tries to wind his arm around her calf, keep her close and as much as she wants to stay, she wriggles back.

"Vax, please. Just… let me?" And maybe he sees something in her eyes feels the tension in her, but he lets her go.

Keyleth can feel Vax's eyes on her as she peruses the windowsills for the plant she has in mind. It takes her a little longer to find the spikey succulent but at last, she does and wanders over to the bed where he's sitting, pot in hand.

"What's this then?"

"It's an aloe plant. In Zephra, we use the juices in it to treat burns. It cools the skin and. Well. It helps."

Vax sends her a smile, tired as it is and her chest expands, "That sounds wonderful."

"Good. Shirt off," She says, trying to sound authoritative, like she knows what she's doing but the context of their location catches up to her and her cheeks flood red as her hair, "I didn't mean. I… You… I just can't get to the burn, you know, because it's on your back and-"

Vax chuckles as he gingerly pulls the shirt over his head, "I know what you meant, Kiki. It's alright."

She flushes ever redder, if that's possible, but sinks onto the opposite side of the pallet behind him. Scars litter his skin like a map of his past but her handprint stand out, fresh and raw. Vex's healing had done some of the job already but the skin still sends off heat in waves.

Keyleth slices open one of the shoots with a dagger from her bedside table and glides her fingers through the viscous inner plant material. Vax watches her over his shoulder in mild interest as she sets the plant aside, next to the dagger, and nears his back.

"It's a little cold," she murmurs, spreading the goo over the burn. Instantly, she feels some of the tension in him leak away.

"That's incredible," He all but moans, and Keyleth is suddenly very focused on getting aloe on every single bit of the burn and definitely not listening to him sigh in contentment, "What's this magic plant called again?"

"Aloe," She squeaks, rubbing in the last of the goo and pulling back a little reluctantly.

"What I wouldn't have given for this back in that fucking lava cave," He sighs, stretching and twisting around as the aloe set into his skin.

"I'll have to start carrying it around, if you're going to make a habit of this," Keyleth tries to joke, but her voice is still brittle with exhaustion and Vax turns to look at her as he pulls the shirt back on.

"No, Kiki, I don't plan on asking you to sear marks off me on the regular." He reaches for her hand and folds their fingers back together, "I… I wasn't thinking clearly. Vex and-"

She squeezes his fingers, "No, no, I know. I get it. I just. It's… it's _you_ and you were in pain and I was the one-"

"Because I asked you to."  
"But still…"

Vax sighs and pulls her hands until she slides to the middle of the nest of blankets and

the length of her arm is pressed against his, "I'm sorry."

"I am too," She can't bring her eyes up to meet his, "Are you tired?"

He blows out another sigh and leans into her a bit more, "Yes. Exhausted."

"Me too." She lays back, still in the middle, still gripping his fingers and waits. Vax seems frozen now and it's not until she gives his fingers a squeeze that he turns to look at her. When he does, she pats the space beside her and wriggles around on her side to face where he will lay.

He doesn't need telling twice. Slowly, never breaking eye contact, he lays on his side next to her, their noses on a level. Cautiously, he lifts an arm and she slides under it a little hesitantly, pressing her nose to the juncture of his neck and slinging an arm low around his waist. Warmth encases her and the smell of leather and wood and Vax and her heartbeat simultaneously slows and quickens. It's an odd feeling.

She feels Vax's tension release and he turns his head to press his lips to the top of her head. She hums back quietly, content for the first time in days. And she knows it's selfish, and she knows it won't last and she knows it's a little stupid, but _Gods,_ she just wants to stay here until the rest of the world just goes away and the dragons disappear and the refugees under their roof are safe and healed and have homes again. But none of that can happen without Vox Machina.

Vax rolls onto his back, arms loose around her and Keyleth moves with him until she's half lying on his chest. He lets out another sigh and tugs a spare blanket over top of them both. Keyleth rolls away long enough to snuff out the lamp on the floor nearby and then only the moonlight streams in from the far window. She snuggles back against Vax's chest and throws a leg up over his.

They're quiet for a while, Keyleth tracing slow patterns over the planes of Vax's chest with her fingers. His tuck under the hem of her shirt and rakes his nails gently across her back, smiling when she arches a little and nearly purrs in content, pausing her design for a moment to go limp against him.

"Feels nice," She whispers, picking up where she left off.

"So's that," He says back, matching her volume for a reason he can't quite understand.

They're quiet again and his hand slows, nails replaced by the warm, wide press of his palm. Keyleth closes her eyes, exhaustion finally setting deeper into her, but sleep doesn't come. Memories bubble to the surface of her mind.

"Emon is gone." She can't quite stop herself. Seeing Allura so broken, Percy _shooting his gun_ toward Grog (even though she knew he wouldn't hit him) and all of them fighting over some stupid, obviously evil skull, the frozen bodies of people who'd run to them for help, people they'd failed…

"Westrun is gone." Vax's voice is low in his chest and Keyleth presses herself closer to it, like maybe it can tether her to the ground.

"Pyrah-" she chokes herself off at the memory of the scrying she and Allura had fallen into, the burnt charred bodies of people, _her people,_ scattered by a weeping, angry rift in the planes and how scared must they all have been when-

Vax's fingers are under her chin, tilting until he can find her eyes in the darkness. A tear has worked its way down the side of his nose and Keyleth reaches up to dab it away.

"We're not gone though," He whispers, leaning his cheek into her touch and she catches the next tear before it gets far, "And we're going to destroy these motherfuckers. And the last thing that red shithead sees before whatever comes after this life is going to be all our faces blowing him away."

"We'll make sure you and Vex get the last shot," She rasps back. It's not hard to extrapolate, between the timeline and the snippets she's heard about when the twins went back for their mother. He gasps a little, eyes sinking closed, throat bobbing and it takes him a moment to respond.

"Want you by my side too," he whispers, "All of us together."

She nods slowly, "All of us together."

He leans down to press their lips together again, painfully gentle and she strokes a thumb over the high arch of his cheekbone.

They fall asleep slowly, pressed together, and in the morning, the world seems just a little more solid.


End file.
